Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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