Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I can't put those talents on a resume
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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