But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
