winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
