His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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