Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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