Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
