Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
