all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
