i would punch a child for taco bell
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
