dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
