There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
