I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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