I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
