"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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