Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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