when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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