This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
