I'm pants shitting drunk right now
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
