John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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