so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize