so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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