I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
