The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
