you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
