I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
