She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
