I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
