sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize