You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize