bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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