I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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