...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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