also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
