Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I touched a dick in church today
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
