Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
