I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I need to sanitize my soul.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize