have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
