But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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