Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
