Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We're too hungover to prance.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
