how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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