My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
