So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize