I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
