everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
