So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
