Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
