My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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