I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
