Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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