wanna go halves on a baby?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
he's single and there are thong briefs.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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