My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
