They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
i've created a new STD.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
