It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
