i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
