He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
