I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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