shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
