That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
