Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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